Divorce doesn't have to be a time of conflict. Sure, divorce is a major life change, but it is possible to make it work for both you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Creating a divorce mission statement can guide you toward accomplishing an amicable divorce out of court. A mission statement gives you a clear idea of how you plan to achieve that goal.

The purpose of a divorce mission statement is to help you:

Feel less afraid. One of the biggest fears some people have when going through a divorce is the fear of being alone. Although you may not feel comfortable being by yourself at first, you don't have to feel isolated and lonely. That's because you aren't alone. You still have your kids, your family, your co-workers, and your friends.

Recognize it's time to move forward with your life. Regrets can keep you stuck feeling emotions you don't like. Forget about what was and focus on living in the present. Don't think of your divorce as the end. Consider it as a new beginning for you and your children (and yes, even your ex-spouse).

Focus on reconnecting with yourself. Make time for yourself and your own passions. Part of moving forward involves taking care of yourself physically and emotionally.

Define who you want to be after your divorce. Divorce gives you the opportunity to learn more about yourself. If you've gotten into the habit of focusing on the things you don't like about yourself, it's time to let go of negative thoughts. Look at your divorce as a learning experience that brings out your positive qualities and strengths.

Identify what's important to you. Begin by listing your core values. Think about the things that really matter and give your life meaning. Remind yourself of the many blessings you still have and be thankful for them.

Set both short- and long-term goals. Instead of resisting change, think of all the possibilities your life holds. If your goals change during this transition in your life, it means you are growing as a person.

Don't let divorce make you doubt yourself. Sometimes the best guide is doing what feels right. Explore different options and then develop a plan. Take small steps at first and do what works.

Give your children two caring parents. Commit yourself to making co-parenting work by developing a new kind of relationship with your ex-spouse. Instead of tearing your family apart, focus on making the change less stressful for everyone.

Get your kids involved so they can see how they are helping to make life better. They won't feel as powerless following the divorce and neither will you.

Adjust to your new lifestyle. Not everyone likes change, but flexibility is key in helping you grow in your ability to face challenges. The uncertainty of what your future holds after divorce can be scary; therefore, you need to remind yourself that divorce isn't the worst thing that can happen to you. Take on new challenges, and you just might be surprised at how well you learn to cope with change.

When going through a divorce, work with a firm like Barr, Sternberg, Moss, Lawrence & Silver, PC to make sure that everything is taken care of in the proper way. The fewer legal hang-ups you have, the smoother everything will go.

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